Verizon can Die

Today I'm looking for competitors to Verizon. This is an active search, as I am quite tired of paying 3 digits a month and being unable

it's true

to view any itemized synopsis of what I'm paying for. I know that DSL comes in around $40 and that I have call waiting. Deeper than that I cannot delve.

• Item: Trying to view my bill online generates this message:

"We are currently experiencing problems. Please try again at a later time or contact Verizon customer service"

Now, if you believe there is actually a thing called "Verizon customer service" then I have several thousand Authentic Collectors Item Leaves in my backyard that you can have for the low low price of $100 each.

• Item: Okay, screw it, I'll have the bill mailed to me.

"Sorry, we are unable to provide you with Paper-Free Billing. We have encountered some problems while processing your request."

A surprising message, since I am presently provided with Paper-Free Billing and can't stand it because I cannot get the information. It should be renamed Information-Free Billing.

• Item: "Add/Modify" services sound like the thing for me. Before I whine, let me say that the DSL service is fairly reliable. I just need to know what I'm paying for rarely-used phone service. (I more or less hate telephones)

"We're sorry this information is currently unavailable. Please try again later."

I am going to be updating this entry with my research on Verizon's competitors. A fiberoptic connection would be a lovely thing, but it is categorically Not Worth dealing with this company.

Note to Verizon:
If you paid more than $99 for this account management system, you should know that the 15-year-old who built it for you is laughing all the way to the bank.

Update 1:
Speakeasy has a "OneLink" service where you get DSL and no need for a phone line. This service might be quite... serviceable, in view of my newly found love for Skype. More to come...